I hate when its time for him to leave

Jonathan just left about twenty minutes ago and like usual, I cried. He came up around 8pm and stayed till 9:40. I recorded a tape of his show for him since he didn't have cable yesterday. Well he came up here and we just layed together for what seemed like only five minutes. My time with him always go by so fast. He thinks its cute that I get upset, and he reminds me that I will get to spend the rest of my life with him. But right now it is so hard to look for forever when I need something now. I suppose it could be construed as selfish on my part, butt in the whole picture I'm really not that selfish. I just wish I got to see him more. I know I only have about 6 months to go of this whole long distance relationship garbage, but I bet it will be the loooooongest six months. I know that it is hard for him to balance his life because he works so hard and long. I know he never gets to see his friends too. And it makes me sad that he has to be so grown up while all his friends get to still have fun. I even guess in a way I model my behaviors so that I experience what he experiences. I think a major reason why I've forced myself to grow up and be responsible before I really REALLY had to was due to that conversation he and I had in July. Where he explained how I didn't understand what it was like to have real responsibilities and that we were growing apart because our lives were so different. I guess a part of me is still scared that he feels this way. He told me that he didn't feel this way when he said it, he just had a lot of regrets and stress in his life that had nothing to do with me, but he felt that he could take it out on me and I would understand. Well, I do understand, and its ok, but it doesn't mean that I'm not a little messed up from it now... because I really am. Slowly, I'm getting better. I made a comment today which was really messed up. I said to him, "I mean, they get you for a whole weekend again, and I don't........" This is in reference to his convention in NP this weekend. He is going to hang out with his friends, which is fine, but I don't get to be with him..... again. I just wish that I could have a weekend with him, that he and I could just relax and be lazy together.... is that really a lot to ask?